The First 48 (Days)

The First 48 (Days)

It’s been over 40 days since the official “Stay Home” order has been in place. Did yall hear me? FORTY DAYS! In the beginning, I was optimistic. I was very sunshine and rainbows about it all. I had a full schedule for home school, including activities and “field trips”. I was certain that success was in our future. Just in case you don’t follow me on social media, here’s the short list of what we accomplished in the early days: planted herbs, made a volcano, painted a few masterpieces, made crayons and slime, and even redecorated the kids’ rooms. We went outside daily for sports, bubbles, kite flying, or a walk around the neighborhood. We made new memories that we wouldn’t have otherwise gotten if it weren’t for this time in our lives. And honestly, I am grateful for all of it. 

The flip side is that those same few days were also most certainly overwhelming. I wasn’t sure if I was coming or going. The things that might normally calm me down felt strange and out of place. Simply put – they just didn’t work which only heightened my anxiety, and usually only flying does that. Unfortunately, I have felt some of those same anxiety driven sensations in the last week while standing on solid ground. It’s a little scary to think that your life might look different today and that it might not go back to “normal”, especially since we don’t know how long this will be. By week three, I didn’t think I would make it. You wouldn’t believe how fast we ran out of batteries! People were losing their minds behind toilet paper and Clorox wipes, but I was struggling to keep AAs in stock. So I have been challenging myself to find new ways to cope with my ever changing reality.

  1. Trips to Walmart were some vacation-type gifts from heaven, and DoorDash became a frequent and welcomed sight. 
  2. I spent more money on paint supplies and Wii remote controllers than I would like to admit. But it was a small price to pay to keep peace in the kingdom.
  3. I have explored new Pinterest recipes! The chicken fried rice, honey garlic salmon, rainbow waffles and Air-fryer chicken wings were instant favorites. 
  4. I’ve become a day drinker and utilized alcohol delivery services. #DontJudgeMe
  5. If nothing else, I am convinced that music can heal the world. I’ve reconnected with classmates on virtual dance floors. We’ve sung all the words to “Gangsta’s Paradise” or “My Mind is Playing Tricks on Me” Music has been in the background of every era of our lives. This isn’t any different.
  6. I have tagged my friends, former roommate, or cafe buddy, and played the “you remember when…” game on all the social media platforms. 

At this point, if you are like me, you think that you are either failing miserably or being wildly successful. I thought “self-quarantine” would lead to more time for self-discovery. But the truth is, I found myself stuck in an emotional roller coaster that would only let me discover how sad and frustrated I was. I needed to go back to the basics of doing the things that brought me instant joy like watching Black Panther or Beyonce’s Homecoming and eating Blue Bell from the carton. Daily I am faced with the decision to embrace what is put before me and accept that I can control only what I can control. Family time, friend time, and self time are still required. And I am so grateful there are platforms that have allowed us to do all three things over the last 48 days. We can still see each other, play games, dance, worship, and communicate, just more creatively and with intention.

Feel free to share your thoughts!

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