It’s not easy writing a blog. Trust me. While I am creative and I feel like I have something to say, I often struggle with “writer’s block”. Even me, after all these years of training and education, I still get creatively “stuck”. The struggle is actually worse after a successful post like Put That Down. So I emailed you describing my frustration to which you responded with a list of potential topics that I could write about. You said “These are things I think your readers might be interested in.” It was a good list but there was one topic that I didn’t agree with. So I called you and voiced my complaint and flat out told you “I ain’t writing about that.” You were sweet. You listen to my position and then you said ok (but it felt more like “are you finished or are you done?”) and then you proceeded to explain why you disagreed with my thoughts. And then I had a light bulb moment…
You were right. My sister, and now editor, is RIGHT.
As a matter of fact, you have been right about A LOT of things in the past year. Listen, this is a key moment in time! I realized so much about you, me, and our relationship… in. that. moment. Growing up, I didn’t realize that I wanted a sibling until I got one when our parents got married in 1992. We were 13 years old and I’m sure you can remember what it was like for two middle school girls. We had some fun times and a few rocky ones but I was still excited to have a sister.
Gaining a sibling my same age also presented a challenge in how I thought about the family unit and my place in it. It is probably one of the reasons why you still claim to be an only child with siblings. LOL! I’m sure we haven’t discussed it but here are two perspectives I carried while growing up with you.
Perspective #1: As the older sister, I naturally felt like older and wiser go hand in hand. Which meant, since I’m older, I am wiser. Boom.
Reality That Still Rings True: I am ONLY five months older than you. Which in the adulting phase of life means absolutely nothing. You have just as much wisdom as I do. While we might be wise about different subjects, our levels on the wisdom chart are in the same space. There is nothing more valuable than to be able to call you and gain from your wisdom.
Perspective #2: You are so different than me! You march to the beat of your own drum. You exude a level of confidence that comes naturally.
Reality That Still Rings True: I have viewed your confidence in both a state of confusion and awesome wonder. I was mildly jealous for years of your ability to throw caution to the wind and do whatever it is that you wanted. It’s why you have been able to travel the world, move to the East Coast, and have a baby – all on your own terms. You were born a giver of no damns.
The problem with my past perspective is that they were limiting beliefs that I had not only about you, but also about myself. These beliefs were a direct reflection about how I felt about my ability to do or be a certain way. The reality is that through your example you have taught me that I have always had access to that same power, that same confidence and that same wisdom that you exhibit.
So Ms. Editor in Chief, I will take this moment to formally thank you for being you. I am so very proud of all that you have accomplished. I know that your road has not always been easy but it never stopped you from pushing for what was best for you. I am thankful that over the years our relationship has grown into what it is today. Our love of football, Snickerdoodles and Cupcakes touches the deepest parts of our souls and our bond. For all the times that I thought I was teaching you, just know that the teacher is also the student.
I love you forever.
*Side note to the readers – If you have siblings, I encourage you to consider what I know to be true that you can learn something from them and your relationship with them no matter what the situation is. Be willing to be open enough to share what you’ve learned as it will also help someone else.