My understanding of sisterhood has changed over the years. In elementary, we were “sisters” because we were all in the same class or had the same dislike for Dr. Horn’s before school math drills. In middle school, we were “sisters” by choice. Your likes, dislikes and personal preferences started to come into play. Or it was the fact that everyone had a crush on Eric. (Seriously, he was CUTE!) In high school, the lines were drawn, cliques were formed and “sisters” bloomed from everywhere. Cheerleading, IB program, business internship program, and the list goes on. I had “sisters” of every kind and the evolution continued with each new level of life. College, grad school, married friends, sorority girls, divorced friends, grad school again, new married friends again… You get the point. LOL.
But today’s sisterhood… It gives me all the warmth of hot chocolate on Christmas morning, the joy of watching your baby take his first steps, the crisp fresh air while standing on the beach. This sisterhood, this grown and mature sisterhood, it is the thing I always wanted but never knew how to achieve. It’s filled with honoring truths, coconut oil, laugh until you cry or just straight cry. But it ain’t no punk either. You get the authenticity and honesty that only grown and mature women can handle. You understand that while life might ebb and flow that this sisterhood is deep in your heart and part of your soul.
Getting this level of sisterhood has one major component — YOU. The key to having it all is you. Your growth, openness, willingness to honor who you are and WHOSE you are. Your truth, standing firm in it, not apologizing for it. Your willingness to turn your P.I. skills toward yourself and not just for researching your best friend’s boyfriend. Investigate why you really feel the way you feel. Are you doing or saying things out of your sense or duty or responsibility? Or family tradition? Or because of your parents expectations? Is it really your thoughts and conclusions that are guiding your life or someone else’s? This level of sisterhood takes work but the key is you.
One of the beauties of this sisterhood is any sister, at any time, can reach out and speak a word or do a kind gesture to help encourage you. Sometimes it’s because we reach out for help, i.e. calling your BFF (Hey girl hey!), and other times it’s because someone reaches out to you. But really what it is, is a mirror. Our relationships with our sisters are a mirror of the one relationship that always needs nurturing – the one with yourself.
Every time someone reaches out to me for advice, encouragement, my personal opinion, it always speaks to an aspect of my own life. Always. Whatever we’ve talked about has a direct correlation to what I’m dealing with in some area and I basically need to take my own advice. It is amazing what can happen when you allow God to use you. A few months ago, I followed my instincts and purchased a bag for a sister-friend. I didn’t know anything about what was going on with her, I just honored what I heard in my spirit about getting for her. I honored our sisterhood. It turns out that it was just the encouragement she needed at the time.
My sisterhood looks beautiful. It’s not about skin tone or dialect. It’s filled with sisters from all walks of life and in all stages of life. We put on our big girl panties, have grown up conversations, and tackle the challenges of adulting one day at a time. And it makes life so much sweeter to do it with my sisters. My coconut oil, sage, sun-kissed, advocates for self-care and the underserved, walking in purpose and passion sisters. I love US for real.
Take a moment to look in the “mirror”. Consider the next conversation you have and whether or not it helps you to identify an area in your life that might need to be addressed. Reach out, take your sisters hand, and walk forward.